Have you looked at your life lately and said to yourself, “My life wasn’t supposed to turn out this way.”? I suspect most of us have at one time or another.
The nice neighborhood we moved into ten or twenty years ago is slowing deteriorating. The church I grew up in has changed so much that I no longer look forward to worshipping there. I had to move into a nursing home.
My kids have made bad decisions that have hurt me and others. My husband died, and I became a widow way too early. I am having health issues that were not in the plan. I am worried that my retirement fund will run out.
I lost my job, and at my age it is hard to find a new one that can support my family. My parents sacrificed to put me through college so I could get a good job, but I find myself living from paycheck to paycheck. My kids have moved halfway around the world, and I seldom get to see them or my grandkids.
I look and in the mirror and see the wrinkles and gray hair. Growing old is what happened to my parents and grandparents, but not me. My spouse promised to stay with me until death do us part, but that promise has been broken. I have outlived one or more of my kids. I am still single after all these years.
Why do these things happen, and yes even to Christians? The short answer is that they are part of life on earth. As young adults with our lives before us, we have dreams and ideals of what life is going to be like for us, and then we later realize that life is lived under less than ideal circumstances. Broken promises, sickness, death, cloudy days, greed, selfishness, lying, deceit and slothfulness are just part of life.
So how do we respond to life’s challenges and disappointments? How we respond is the key. We can’t control things that happen, but we can control how we respond. As the saying goes, the things that happen to us can make us better or bitter.
Here are a few practical steps you can take in dealing with life’s disappointments and heartaches.
Ask the Lord for wisdom in dealing with them. James 1:5 reminds us that He will answer that prayer. Seek the counsel of your pastor, a wise Christian friend or professional Christian counselor. Join a support group for those facing similar issues that you are facing. If one is not available, consider starting one. It is amazing how encouraged you will be to find that there are others in the same boat that you are in. You are not alone.
Maybe your life hasn’t turned out the way you envisioned it, but there are no doubt many good things that have happened along this journey we call life. Why not focus on those things instead? The joy of a child or grandchild, marriage, good health, achievements, sunny days, laughter, fun, friends, honesty, goodness, and love are a part of life as well. Psalm 103:2 says, “Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not his benefits.” Have you made a list of his benefits lately?
Another suggestion is to get involved in the lives of others. Be a bright spot in someone’s life. You can be a blessing to them, and doing so will get your mind off yourself and your troubles.
Do a Bible study on the lives of Bible characters who had times in their lives when they said, “My life wasn’t supposed to turn out this way.” The story of Joseph is found in Genesis 37-50. At age 17, Joseph seemed to have a very bright future ahead, but because his brothers were jealous of and even hated him, they put him in a pit (after deciding not to kill him) and then sold him into slavery.
If were Joseph, I think I would have wondered whether the Lord had forgotten about me. Not Joseph. His faith in the Lord was strong, and he did not become bitter. Read these chapters and you will see how the Lord had Joseph right where he needed to be to save Egypt and his family from starvation. Please look for how his life turned around to the good in just one day.
If you can identify with one of the scenarios at the beginning of this column, how should you respond? Should you just accept it? Should you try to change things? Let what is referred to as the Serenity prayer be your prayer:
“God grant me the Serenity to accept the things that I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.”