I have always been interested in the relationship between psychology and theology. My major in college was psychology, and then in seminary I studied theology. Because of these interests, the title of a book I ran across recently caught my eye: Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero. I have also discovered his book Emotionally Healthy Discipleship.
I have always been intrigued as to why those who are spiritually mature have so areas of their lives that do not seem to be impacted by the Lord including the mind, will, and emotions. The focus of Scazzero’s book is the latter of those three-our emotions. His explanation for my dilemma is what he calls emotional immaturity. He makes some valid points, some of which I will be sharing in this series of columns.
The thesis of his book is that emotional immaturity affects a believer’s spiritual maturity. Can a person be spiritually mature while being emotionally immature? Before we answer that question, we need to ask another question here, “What is spiritual maturity?” Where do spiritual and emotional maturity intersect? Or do they?
In his book, Scazzero shares an incident that occurred in his own family when he was sixteen. His brother quit college against his dad’s wishes and joined a cult. For the next ten years he was declared dead and not allowed to return home. His parents were ashamed of their son, even to the point of drawing back from extended family and friends. He recalls now after those years that it took their family twenty years to even begin recovery.
And now in his own words: “What is perhaps most tragic is that my dad’s spirituality and loyal involvement in church had little impact on his marriage and parenting. The way he functioned as a father, husband, and employee reflected his culture and family of origin rather than the new family of Jesus.”
This same story could be repeated over and over. The names and faces may be different, and the situations may vary, but in every situation, there seems to be a total disconnect from one’s Christian faith and his attitudes and behavior. I believe his book has some insight into why this happens, but in some ways he falls short. It is my intention in these articles to further explore this issue, and hopefully shed more light.
Let’s step back and take a look at what spiritual maturity is. Hebrew 5:12 speaks to one aspect of spiritual maturity:
“In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk and not solid food.”
A spiritually mature Christians is one who has moved on the from the basics of being a Christian. I cannot underscore enough how important those basics are for a new believer. Unfortunately, many new believers never received any discipling in the basics of being a Christian and how to grow as a Christian. In my years in ministry, one of the greatest joys I had was leading a 6-week Discovery Class, for new members and new believers. A majority of new members would later tell me they had never received such training when they were new believers.
The tools for becoming a mature believer include the Word, prayer, fellowship, and evangelism/ministry. Some have mistakenly developed the notion that a sign of maturity is being involved in one or more these activities. Certainly, these are essential to maturity, but they are a means to an end-spiritual maturity.
Spiritual maturity involves life change. Romans 8:29 refers to being conformed to the image of Christ. Paul also spoke of having the mind of Christ (I Corinthians 2:16) and the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), the latter being manifest in the life of Christ. By the way, the production of the fruit of the Spirit in our lives is a better indicator of maturity than the gifts of the Spirit.
As a child growing up in church I remember the terms justification, sanctification, and glorification. Justification refers to our salvation. Glorification will happen when we arrive in heaven. These two refer to the beginning of our life in Christ and the end result. Sanctification is the process between these two of becoming more and more like Jesus. Spiritual maturity is not instantaneous as justification and glorification. It is a process.
Part of this process is the Lord pointing our areas of our lives that need to be changed. When he points out something that needs to be changed, we have two options. We can change and become a little more like Jesus when we do, or we can refuse to change. Every time we refuse to change, our heart becomes a little more hardened. The primary tool the Lord uses to point our areas that need to be changed is his Word, whether from our personal reading or study, or under the teaching and preaching of the Word.
By the way, one of the reasons some believers drop out of church is that they don’t like being reminded of the changes that need to be made in their lives. This is especially true of churches that have a strong pulpit and Bible teaching in their Sunday School classes or small groups. There are some churches that one can go to and never worry about having their toes stepped on.
One final thought about spiritual maturity goes back to the example Peter Scazzero gave about his dad. His dad was very active in church, but still spiritually and emotionally immature. If is easy to assume that because someone attends or is even active in church that he is spiritually mature. The two are not necessarily one in the same. I once heard Adrian Rogers say that one reason so many kids dropped out of church was the disconnect from their parents being in church and how they lived at home.
Next time we will dig deeper into the connection of spiritual maturity and emotional maturity. In the meantime, would you be praying that the Lord will show you areas of your life that need to be changed?